Now, day by day, i get more understanding about what happened between us..
it’s about how i communicate..
it’s about me leaving you..
it’s about i don’t trust you..
it’s about i put all blame on you..
it’s about me-always-right person..
it’s about i feel insecure and unloved..
it’s about i’m lonely and bit shock about my moving..
it’s about i don’t have any self confidence that you miss me..
it’s about me, not ready for this long-distance thing..
it’s about me, living in our past memories, and hold on to that..
it’s about i miss you so much.. and i mean it..
most of all, it’s about me, disappoint you, in many ways..
i was depressed..
i was annoying..
i was not me..
but i have few questions left,
why you let me go so easily?
don’t you remember me in all things?? because i do, even simple things..
don’t you miss me all time?? because i do, days and nights..
don’t you want to tell me about your day?? because i do, everything..
or you just forget so easily??
can I know how to do that??
I’m going insane..
my mind still trying, reminds me every seconds, that i have to move on..
but how i can move on with part of me shattered?
my thoughts telling me that i still have many plans to do..
but how i do my plans, for my plans is about me and you?
my logic insist that i deserve someone else..
but how can I if I don’t have any courage to open my heart for others?
plus my heart whispering that we’re meant to be..
that you still love me in your ways..
that you hurt me now because you ain’t hurt me any longer..
that you leave me now because you think that you’re such a pain in my life..
frankly, i’m confused..
is that right or just my wishful thinking?
because if it’s right, i will come to you and slap your face, for you think that way..
and if it’s just my wishful thinking, i will slap my face, to wake me up from dreams..
you’re really not pain in my life.. Big No!
however, I’m grateful.. thanks for great year we’ve been through.. it’s gonna be unforgetable year in my life..
thousand thanks just not enough to show how thankful I am, to be with you, even just for a blink of an eye..
please, do have happily ever after life, without me..
–i will secretly pray for you, but you won’t know it, you can’t know it.. i won’t let you..–
© Jak – 230610 – 1710 ©